Your confidence is something that is built on many factors. All interactions no matter how big or small can shape how you feel about yourself. Like many others, I came across bullies in my life. Bullies and the images of what “beauty” or “health” should look like can keep you feeling powerless.

Like any relationship, it’s hard work. Love can be inconsistent, but it’s extremely rewarding. Patience can be the key and I understand I’m just as strong when I’m feeling down as when I am on top of the world. I’ve come to learn that there are some key factors that helped me, and I hope that you can find them helpful on your journey to greater confidence and experience all that self-love has to offer.

1. Understand the media isn’t body positive

For a long time, I believed, in order to be a beautiful human being, you had to be born with a slim body and a flat stomach. Don’t be fooled! The media is still pumping out unrealistic body standards. All women aren’t created with an hourglass figure, and that’s OK! You simply need to get to a place where you feel comfortable in your own skin.

2. Surround yourself with people who breathe positivity

The people you surround yourself with will also make a huge difference in the way you view yourself and others. Support is something everyone needs. It can come in many forms — friends, family, even an online community. You will know your people when you find them.

Most people are into their online fix, but there’s so much room for negativity online. Simply find at least three people online who give a positive message about anything and follow them. Realizing that there are other people out there who think and feel the same way as you, is always reassuring. It will also boost your confidence.

3. Invest in yourself

This is a huge one.

Investing in yourself means freeing up your mind for more positive thoughts and actions. You can do anything you set your mind to. Give yourself a break when things get tough, don’t let those thoughts occupy valuable space in your mind. Self-investment can also be a nice treat for yourself. Make yourself a priority, and watch it pay off.

4. Help the haters

It’s so hard to move forward with so many people weighing you down. Critics come in many shapes and forms, from trolls and unsolicited “health” advice to even snide comments.

When someone’s words bring me down, I think, what does their opinion mean to me? Where’s this comment really coming from? People often insult others because they’re feeling insecure themselves, or they simply don’t understand someone else’s point of view. Use this knowledge to help others understand and help themselves. And as the old saying goes: Kill ‘em with kindness.

5. Put yourself out there and take risks

One of the hardest things for me was to put myself out there. Without confidence, it feels like everything you do is a risk. I was sick of the same old outcomes and put myself out there. Yes, you may get critics but the only way to avoid critics is to say nothing, do nothing, be nothing. Those that criticise, you often find are simply feeling inferior or intimidated by you. You simply need to be kind to them, and they will either come around or they will go away. Either way you get to do what you want to.

6. Stop comparing yourself to others

I know how hard this one is. As humans, we constantly need to compare ourselves to others. This is one of the biggest things that can bring you down. Some media is made to show a sunny, easy life. But as you and everyone else knows, that isn’t true. People are all on their own paths and will excel at different paces. Follow your own journey to greatness.

7. Create

Creativity stems from effort and care. And being a more creative person will give you more confidence. To be creative means to use your imagination and produce original ideas. When you create your own way to do things, there’s no right and wrong. There’s just YOU, find a way to make it your own!

8. Perception is reality

I realized a long time ago that I have the power to perceive situations however I please. I also came to understand that when I’ve given something my all and can’t do anything else to change it, I need to make peace with the situation and move on. Dwelling on situations, past or present, will only add stress and sadness to your life. You can’t change the past, but you can make your future better. You’ll become a more confident person the moment you realize that you have the “power,” in these situations.

9. Realize you are your own worst critic

When you stare at something long enough, you’ll find always flaws. Realize that you see your body in the most detail the most often — meaning you likely have taken the time to pick apart every little thing. The average person doesn’t and isn’t likely to notice the tiny details you criticize about yourself.

It’s OK to note opportunities for yourself to improve. But don’t let yourself be so critical that you make unrealistic expectations for yourself. You’ll go crazy trying to live up to them.

10.Count your blessings

You’re beautiful how you are. This requires you to realize that beauty is more than skin-deep. Count your blessings for what you have. You’ll care less of what you don’t!